Marriage for Women

For Women This is the Scriptural account of how a woman should be in a marriage. Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Submission - A dirty word? What exactly is submission? More than anything else, submission is a heart attitude that says "I am one with my husband". It does not make the woman a doormat, in fact the opposite is true. It is obvious that submission will not be easy if the husband has this expectation of his wife. Ephesians 5:22-24 was written to wives by a loving God who was intent on blessing them, not written to husbands to give them power over their wives. The difference between men and women was no accident. God made us in such a way as to compliment each other and to be a blessing to each other. It is the very nature of man to be protective and to provide for his family in every way. A wife's right heart attitude, first to God and then to her husband, will in return bring the best out in her husband. Encourage your husband to spend time together with you and the Lord so that the bond between you can grow and be strengthened. The Bible teaches that a threefold cord is not quickly broken and this is very true of a cord consisting of husband, wife and a loving God. What is love? Love is two things. It is first an emotion or feeling that is described like this in www.dictionary.com A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair. Secondly, love is a choice. We all have days when emotions run dry and if love was entirely dependent on emotions, it may not last. My experience is that when the emotion is not there for whatever reason, we can choose to love. We can say I love my husband, and the emotion returns. That's not to say that you have stopped loving your husband, it's just that there are occasions when the emotion isn't foremost in your mind. This could happen for a number of reasons, such as stress, an argument, a death in the family, or something else that takes over your emotions, or maybe you're just having a bad day. The beautiful thing about love is that, if kept alive, it will grow and blossom with years. It will develop in maturity and become more precious with time. Gardens Remember that gardens only get covered with weeds through lack of attention. In the same way, love needs attention to keep it beautiful. Also, as with a garden, what you sow is what will grow. If you sow love, compassion, support, trust, time, friendship and patience you will have a very beautiful garden. Likewise, if you sow disharmony, distrust, impatience, intolerance, control and judgement then your garden will be a bed of misery. The more you give to your husband in the way of love, friendship, support, compliments etc, the more you show him how much he is appreciated and loved, the more beautiful your relationship will become. Pray for him Pray for your husband and ask God to open the way for him to be included in your living relationship with God. As you spend time in fellowship with God together, your hearts will become one. If your relationship with God is not as it should be then this will be hard, but it is something you can work on together. Hopefully this page will be helpful if you need to build that relationship with God. Read the page together and make a plan to do the things mentioned. Plan a time that suits you both and though it may seem awkward to start with, it will open the doors to something beautiful that will be a foundation for your lives. Spots and wrinkles Above all else, it is sin that causes blemishes on our soul. We all have them, but God has told us that Phi 1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ, There are times when spots and wrinkles in your husband will be obvious. They are usually pretty noticeable because they offend in some way. Don't react! Step one is to make sure that you have pulled the plank out of our own eye! Verses 28 and 28 talk about us loving our own body and nourishing and cherishing it. Spiritually speaking, we need to make sure that our lives are right before God before you can minister with love to your husband. Pray for your husband. Ask God to give you wisdom as to how to deal with the matter so that the very best results are achieved and your husband is built up instead of being criticised or put down. Sometimes the answer may take a while to come, but as you pray for your husband (not against him) God will be working in his life and probably yours as well. It is a marvelous thing when you can remove a spot or blemish from your husband without him even realising it was ever there. He is uplifted and made to feel better about himself and will show the fruit of that. With your support and prayer he will be more likely to take up his role in the home/relationship. I remember one time when a friend offended me. I was really angry about it, but instead of reacting I went to God about it and asked for wisdom. Over the next week He ministered to me and showed me how to deal with the situation. Instead of going to my friend angrily and accusing her, I approached her quietly and told her that I was hurt by what she did. It was important to clarify that it was her actions that hurt me rather than pointing the finger at her. As a result she apologised and explained what had happened from her perspective. When she explained the events they didn't seem nearly as bad and our friendship ended up being stronger because of it. There are times when it is neccessary to apologise even when you don't think it's your fault because the other person often sees things differently and it opens the door to resolving an issue that would otherwise remain unresolved. It shouldn't be a lie, but perhaps you could appologise for how you're feeling towards the other person and this would give them the opportunity to respond. Communication starts and this is the start of finding the answer. The POWER of prayer There will be times when differences seem too big or too different to be resolved. Praying together is always a good option. Of course the enemy will try to prevent that from happening, but make an effort! If you both come before God and place the situation in His hands, two things are likely to happen. First it will become His problem instead of yours, thereby taking tension out of the situation. Secondly He will provide an answer which will most likely be very different from anything either of you had thought of, but both can be happy with. Forgiveness Joh 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him. And so it should be with us. Be quick to forgive before the enemy can sew seeds of bitterness or destruction. When God forgives us we are told that Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. We should also forgive in such a way that the offence is completely forgotten and remembered no more. If you really love someone, you tend to see the good in them rather than the bad. Take the initiative, with God, to be the very best you can and enjoy the results. And if you don't understand the male mind, check this out! :) Feedback on this page is welcome. Please email me.
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For Women

This is the Scriptural account of how a woman should be in a marriage.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Submission - A dirty word?

What exactly is submission? More than anything else, submission is a heart attitude that says "I am one with my husband". It does not make the woman a doormat, in fact the opposite is true. It is obvious that submission will not be easy if the husband has this expectation of his wife. Ephesians 5:22-24 was written to wives by a loving God who was intent on blessing them, not written to husbands to give them power over their wives.

The difference between men and women was no accident. God made us in such a way as to compliment each other and to be a blessing to each other. It is the very nature of man to be protective and to provide for his family in every way. A wife's right heart attitude, first to God and then to her husband, will in return bring the best out in her husband.

Encourage your husband to spend time together with you and the Lord so that the bond between you can grow and be strengthened. The Bible teaches that a threefold cord is not quickly broken and this is very true of a cord consisting of husband, wife and a loving God.

What is love?

Love is two things. It is first an emotion or feeling that is described like this in www.dictionary.com

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair.

Secondly, love is a choice. We all have days when emotions run dry and if love was entirely dependent on emotions, it may not last. My experience is that when the emotion is not there for whatever reason, we can choose to love. We can say I love my husband, and the emotion returns. That's not to say that you have stopped loving your husband, it's just that there are occasions when the emotion isn't foremost in your mind. This could happen for a number of reasons, such as stress, an argument, a death in the family, or something else that takes over your emotions, or maybe you're just having a bad day.

The beautiful thing about love is that, if kept alive, it will grow and blossom with years. It will develop in maturity and become more precious with time.

Gardens

Remember that gardens only get covered with weeds through lack of attention. In the same way, love needs attention to keep it beautiful. Also, as with a garden, what you sow is what will grow. If you sow love, compassion, support, trust, time, friendship and patience you will have a very beautiful garden. Likewise, if you sow disharmony, distrust, impatience, intolerance, control and judgement then your garden will be a bed of misery.

The more you give to your husband in the way of love, friendship, support, compliments etc, the more you show him how much he is appreciated and loved, the more beautiful your relationship will become.

Pray for him

Pray for your husband and ask God to open the way for him to be included in your living relationship with God. As you spend time in fellowship with God together, your hearts will become one. If your relationship with God is not as it should be then this will be hard, but it is something you can work on together. Hopefully this page will be helpful if you need to build that relationship with God. Read the page together and make a plan to do the things mentioned. Plan a time that suits you both and though it may seem awkward to start with, it will open the doors to something beautiful that will be a foundation for your lives.

Spots and wrinkles

Above all else, it is sin that causes blemishes on our soul. We all have them, but God has told us that
Phi 1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ,

There are times when spots and wrinkles in your husband will be obvious. They are usually pretty noticeable because they offend in some way. Don't react! Step one is to make sure that you have pulled the plank out of our own eye! Verses 28 and 28 talk about us loving our own body and nourishing and cherishing it. Spiritually speaking, we need to make sure that our lives are right before God before you can minister with love to your husband.

Pray for your husband. Ask God to give you wisdom as to how to deal with the matter so that the very best results are achieved and your husband is built up instead of being criticised or put down. Sometimes the answer may take a while to come, but as you pray for your husband (not against him) God will be working in his life and probably yours as well. It is a marvelous thing when you can remove a spot or blemish from your husband without him even realising it was ever there. He is uplifted and made to feel better about himself and will show the fruit of that. With your support and prayer he will be more likely to take up his role in the home/relationship.

I remember one time when a friend offended me. I was really angry about it, but instead of reacting I went to God about it and asked for wisdom. Over the next week He ministered to me and showed me how to deal with the situation. Instead of going to my friend angrily and accusing her, I approached her quietly and told her that I was hurt by what she did. It was important to clarify that it was her actions that hurt me rather than pointing the finger at her. As a result she apologised and explained what had happened from her perspective. When she explained the events they didn't seem nearly as bad and our friendship ended up being stronger because of it.

There are times when it is neccessary to apologise even when you don't think it's your fault because the other person often sees things differently and it opens the door to resolving an issue that would otherwise remain unresolved. It shouldn't be a lie, but perhaps you could appologise for how you're feeling towards the other person and this would give them the opportunity to respond. Communication starts and this is the start of finding the answer.

The POWER of prayer

There will be times when differences seem too big or too different to be resolved. Praying together is always a good option. Of course the enemy will try to prevent that from happening, but make an effort! If you both come before God and place the situation in His hands, two things are likely to happen. First it will become His problem instead of yours, thereby taking tension out of the situation. Secondly He will provide an answer which will most likely be very different from anything either of you had thought of, but both can be happy with.

Forgiveness

Joh 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.

And so it should be with us. Be quick to forgive before the enemy can sew seeds of bitterness or destruction. When God forgives us we are told that
Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
We should also forgive in such a way that the offence is completely forgotten and remembered no more.

If you really love someone, you tend to see the good in them rather than the bad.

Take the initiative, with God, to be the very best you can and enjoy the results.

And if you don't understand the male mind, check this out! :)

Feedback on this page is welcome. Please email me.

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